It's not hard to lose faith in society these days -- in the aftermath of the Bernardo trial and the abundance of rape and abduction cases we seem to hear about all the time, I often wonder what kind of a world we have created for our children.
To be a good parent these days, you have to prepare your children for the chance that they might come into contact with one of the disturbed individuals you read about in the papers. It isn't always that simple, either. About 95% of sexual abuse is done by a known and trusted adult.
That's why every child from kindergarten on up should see the video "Touching." This 35 minute video, put together by the Community Child Abuse Council of Hamilton-Wentworth, is a perfect way to show children the definitions of good and bad touches. There are lots of examples of both -- the main character, Alex, experiences everything from an overexcited hugger, to an abusive uncle. Alex learns about the "Bill of Body Rights," which states that regardless of your age: "You have the right to trust your feelings, decide when a touch is good or bad, say no to a bad touch, get away, tell a grownup about a bad touch, keep telling grownups about a bad touch, and give and receive good touches."
The video, is, in a word, excellent. The acting is great, the characters are well thought out, and get the message is presented perfectly. There are even some catchy songs to keep things moving a long.
There is one drawback, though. Right now, "Touching" is only available in a teaching kit, which includes some great posters, and an excellent teacher's guidebook. It also comes with a price tag of $165. As much as every parent should have this video in their home, at that price, it's not going to end up in too many. The Community Child Abuse Council is working on a parent's kit, which should be available sometime in 1996. You can contact the council at (905) 523 1877 or 1-800-470-2111 if you are interested.
Last month I wrote about a book designed to introduce my daughter to her new brother or sister. This month -- a video on a similar theme. This is an ongoing concern in our house right now, so you will have to bear with me. (My wife is due any day, so it shouldn't be for too much longer!)
"Oh, Baby! A guide for big brothers and big sisters" comes with another video, "Those Baby Blues: A guide for parents of new siblings," and you are second before the first.
"Oh, Baby!" is narrated by -- and I promise, I'm not joking -- an English Bulldog named Gus, who has to deal with a new addition to his family. Through Gus, and his friends (Sasha the poodle, Mikey the labrador, and others), we learn that even though new babies spit up a lot, cry a lot, and take every bit of attention available, eventually they are worth having around.
If you watch Gus' video first, as I did, you're going to wonder about all the negative images you see for the first half of this 30 minute video. Gus and his friends have nothing good to say about new babies! In the end, they see the light, and once I saw the second video, so did I!
"Those Baby Blues" shows reactions of older siblings in real life situations, and offers suggestions on how parents might respond. The advice comes from two psychologists: Dr. Brenda Wade, and Dr. Glen Aylward. Both sides are heard -- parents and their children -- which gives a good overall perspective.
Once you have seen the "advice" video, the negative images in the other video make a lot more sense. Gus is supposed to be outrageous -- that's the way conversation between a new sibling and his or her parents gets started.
"Oh, Baby!" was a bit over my daughter's (just 2-years-old) head, but she did enjoy Gus and the rest of his friends. Older children will no doubt have a riot viewing this videotape with mom and dad. Finally, (while I'm on this video kick) there is "Parenting the Gifted," which is basically a videotape of a talk. It's not quite as bad as some of those taped lectures I used to have to watch in university, but it isn't much better.
That's really too bad, because the topic is fascinating. Marci Nichols, a teacher/coordinator for a gifted program in the US, discusses the characteristics and needs of gifted children, and focuses on tips and strategies for parenting gifted children.. If, for example, your three-year-old tells you at breakfast one morning that the sun is 183 million miles from the earth, you probably want to pick up this videotape, otherwise, you can probably live without it.
Of course, before you dismiss it too quickly, remember that Albert Einstein didn't talk until he was four, and didn't learn to read until he was seven! Maybe you should pick that video up after all!